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Past girlfriends had complained about his lifestyle, which emphasized watching sports and going to concerts and bars.He’d been called lazy, aimless, and irresponsible with money.

I was eager to see what else was out there.”of online dating are clear: the Internet makes it easier for single people to meet other single people with whom they might be compatible, raising the bar for what they consider a good relationship.Having lived in New York and the Boston area, he was accustomed to ready-made social scenes.In Portland, by contrast, most of his friends were in long-term relationships with people they’d met in college, and were contemplating marriage.“It’s always ‘I wish I was as important as the basketball game or the concert.’ ” An only child, Jacob tended to make plans by negotiation: if his girlfriend would watch the game with him, he’d go hiking with her.He was passive in their arguments, hoping to avoid confrontation.She placed a high value on things he didn’t think much about: a solid credit score, a 40-hour workweek.

Jacob also felt pressure from his parents, who were getting anxious to see him paired off for good.

Although a younger girlfriend bought him some time, biologically speaking, it also alienated him from his friends, who could understand the physical attraction but couldn’t really relate to Rachel.

In the past, Jacob had always been the kind of guy who didn’t break up well. His desire to be with someone, to not have to go looking again, had always trumped whatever doubts he’d had about the person he was with. “I feel like I underwent a fairly radical change thanks to online dating,” Jacob says.

He’d never imagined that so many single people were out there.

“I’m about 95 percent certain,” he says, “that if I’d met Rachel offline, and if I’d never done online dating, I would’ve married her.

At that point in my life, I would’ve overlooked everything else and done whatever it took to make things work.